I remember a boy who came to one of our camps. On the first day, he could not look adults in the eye. By the last day, he stood in front of all the parents and spoke for three minutes about what he had learned about himself. His mother cried. I did too.
Confidence like that does not come from one thing. It usually needs several things to happen together.
It needs real responsibility, something that could actually go wrong, not just chores that do not matter much either way.
“Confidence grows when a boy carries something real on his own, something that could go wrong, and finds his own way through it.”
It needs the chance to fail safely, with someone nearby who will not rescue him too quickly or shame him when it happens.
It needs praise that is specific and honest, not empty praise for everything he does, which boys can usually sense and stop trusting.
And it needs enough repetition, doing hard things more than once, so he starts to trust himself before anyone else does.
That boy led his team through a challenge on day two and got it wrong. Nobody rescued him. He tried again a different way, and it worked. That single moment held all four of these things at once, and that is why it changed him so quickly.
This week, think of one thing you always do for your son that he could do for himself. Let him try it, even if it goes wrong the first time. Then notice what specifically he did well, and tell him exactly that.
This is what happens every day at Boys to Men Mentorship Camp. Real responsibility, safe failure, honest praise, and enough time for it to sink in.